Are You Giving People Enough Room to Develop?
One of the interesting things about becoming an experienced manager is that many of the problems people bring to you become relatively easy to solve. Someone explains what is happening, you recognise the issue and within a few minutes you can probably see a sensible way forward. It is tempting to tell them.
I've certainly seen this happen with well-intentioned managers. They want to be helpful and they don't particularly want someone in their team struggling with a problem when the answer seems obvious. Giving advice feels useful, and it is usually quicker. The problem only becomes apparent later.
The same person comes back with another issue. Then another. Before long, the manager begins to feel frustrated that people aren't taking enough ownership, while the team has quietly learned that the quickest route to an answer is to ask the manager. Neither side intended to create that pattern.
There are, of course, plenty of occasions when people genuinely need an answer. If someone lacks experience, needs information you have or is dealing with something urgent, withholding advice simply to encourage them to think for themselves isn't particularly helpful. The more interesting situations are the ones where you suspect they could work it out, given enough room.
This is where asking a question before offering an answer can make a surprisingly big difference. If someone comes to you with a problem, you might ask what they have considered so far. You could explore what they think is getting in the way, or simply ask what they would do if you weren't available. Then wait.
That last part is often harder than it sounds. Silence can feel uncomfortable, particularly when you already know what you would do. Yet filling it too quickly takes the thinking straight back from the other person. Giving them another few seconds can be enough for an idea to emerge that neither of you expected.
There is another benefit too. When people arrive at their own way forward, you get to see how they think. You learn something about their judgment, where they are confident and where they may need more support. That is much harder to see when they are simply following your advice.
Perhaps the useful distinction is between helping someone solve today's problem and helping them become better equipped for tomorrow's.
Good managers need to do both, and deciding which is needed in the moment is part of the skill. I find one question particularly useful here: "Does this person need my answer, or do they need my attention?"
Sometimes the answer will be obvious. At other times, resisting the urge to solve the problem may turn out to be the most useful thing you do.
Questions to Consider
When someone brings you a problem, how quickly do you move towards giving an answer?
Who in your team could probably handle more than you currently allow them to?
Are there situations where your helpfulness may inadvertently be creating dependence?
What would happen if you stayed curious for a little longer?
Try This
The next time someone asks for your advice on something they could reasonably work through themselves, don't withhold your help. Simply delay it. Ask them what they think first and give them enough time to answer properly. You can always add your perspective afterwards, but you may find that you don't need to.
If you're interested in creating better conversations with your team you might be interested in our free, short video Every Conversation Matters. And if you found this post useful you can sign up to stay informed with curated strategies on managing change. Delivered straight to your inbox. Unsubscribe at any time. Send me updates