Waiting to Feel Confident?
There is a moment that comes up surprisingly often at work. You have something useful to contribute in a meeting, but decide to wait until your thinking is a little clearer. You have been considering applying for a role, but tell yourself you need a bit more experience first. You know there is a conversation you should have, but convince yourself that next week would be a better time.
The common thread is the feeling that you need to be more ready than you are before taking the next step. But confidence rarely arrives in the way we imagine.
Many people expect confidence to feel like certainty. They assume there will come a point where the doubts disappear, the risks seem manageable and the right course of action becomes obvious.
For most of us, that moment never really comes.
When I think about the people I have worked with over the years who appeared confident, very few would describe themselves that way. They often felt uncertain, questioned themselves and worried about how things would turn out. The difference was that they acted anyway.
Not recklessly or without preparation. But before they felt completely ready.
One of the reasons confidence can be difficult to build is that we often treat it as a prerequisite for action rather than a result of it. We wait until we feel more confident before speaking up. Yet speaking up is often what builds confidence. We wait until we feel more confident before leading a project. Yet leading the project is often where confidence develops. We wait until we feel more confident before putting ourselves forward. Yet putting ourselves forward is often where we discover what we are capable of.
This does not mean throwing yourself into situations that feel overwhelming. Most lasting confidence develops through smaller experiences, for example:
Contributing slightly earlier in a meeting.
Sharing an idea before it feels fully polished.
Volunteering for something that stretches you a little.
Having a conversation you have been putting off.
None of these are dramatic and that is precisely the point. Confidence usually grows quietly. Useful questions to consider are:
What am I currently waiting to feel confident enough to do?
And, what would happen if I took one small step before that feeling arrived?
Questions to Consider
Where am I waiting for confidence rather than creating opportunities to build it?
What evidence am I overlooking about my own capability?
What small step would move this forward?
Try This This Week
Think of one thing you have been postponing because you do not feel quite ready. Take the next step anyway. See what happens.
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