A couple of weeks ago during a busy coaching week I met with a number of new as well as existing clients. I was struck by the fact that a significant proportion of them had recently experienced extremely difficult life events or were in the process of doing so. They variously described experiencing a miscarriage, the loss of a parent, diagnosis of a seriously debilitating illness, discovering that their teenager was self-harming, the death of a child, a partner's infidelity. Hearing about these events in such quick succession and in a short space of time was striking. It brought home to me just how commonplace these very difficult, often tragic, life events are.
This is the kind of stuff that we deal with throughout our lives. If we are lucky, we may escape many of them but most of us will certainly experience "bad stuff" at some time or other. What was striking to me was that all of these people were quietly struggling with these events whilst trying to keep everything else going - including work.
This is the kind of stuff that we deal with throughout our lives. If we are lucky, we may escape many of them but most of us will certainly experience "bad stuff" at some time or other. What was striking to me was that all of these people were quietly struggling with these events whilst trying to keep everything else going - including work.
Whilst many of these clients have supportive managers and colleagues, almost all of them are circumspect about telling a wider group of people - as most of us would be. Yet being in these situations makes them doubly vulnerable to the unwitting insensitivity, unkindness and harsh judgments of other people.
When we are having a regular 'bad day' it is easy for us to allow our frustrations and anxieties to cross our boundaries and intrude into someone else's space. Perhaps we might all remember that we don't resolve our issues by dumping on someone else - and maybe that other person has enough on their plate and seriously doesn't need your issues right now. (And if you don't know what they might be dealing with, perhaps it's best to err on the safe side..?)
This doesn't just apply to us as individuals but also to us as leaders and as "the organisation" - the business entity shouldn't mask our humanity.
We can all contribute to making our working and living environments healthier and more positive places. In our daily encounters with people, whether at work or otherwise, we rarely have much inkling at all about what is going on for them behind the facade. If you look around you now, whether you are in your office, in the coffee shop, on the train, some of the people you see will be experiencing excruciatingly painful events right now. Let's keep mindful of that - most of us are simply doing the best we can and that is easier for everyone if we all strive to act with grace and thoughtfulness.
When we are having a regular 'bad day' it is easy for us to allow our frustrations and anxieties to cross our boundaries and intrude into someone else's space. Perhaps we might all remember that we don't resolve our issues by dumping on someone else - and maybe that other person has enough on their plate and seriously doesn't need your issues right now. (And if you don't know what they might be dealing with, perhaps it's best to err on the safe side..?)
This doesn't just apply to us as individuals but also to us as leaders and as "the organisation" - the business entity shouldn't mask our humanity.
We can all contribute to making our working and living environments healthier and more positive places. In our daily encounters with people, whether at work or otherwise, we rarely have much inkling at all about what is going on for them behind the facade. If you look around you now, whether you are in your office, in the coffee shop, on the train, some of the people you see will be experiencing excruciatingly painful events right now. Let's keep mindful of that - most of us are simply doing the best we can and that is easier for everyone if we all strive to act with grace and thoughtfulness.
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